The Ladykillers

The Ladykillers (2004)

TOBACCO INCIDENTS 240
AVG PER MINUTE 2.45
EDITION Touchstone Home Entertainment DVD released September 7, 2004
MOVIE SUMMARY A gang of misfits dig a tunnel through an old lady’s basement in order to steal a riverboat treasure.
TOBACCO IN SHORT One character is a chainsmoker who can retract a lit cigarette inside his mouth for several minutes then resume smoking it.
POSSIBLE SMOKESCREENS (?) That creepy bridge, how nearly everyone in this movie ends up dead, etc.

TOBACCO INCIDENTS: 240

AVG PER MINUTE: 2.45

First visual frame at 0:20
Last visual frame at 98:14
Total visual running time: 97:54

# TIME ANGLE DESCRIPTION
1 2:09 TS A big green glass ashtray drifts into view from background behind the sleeping deputy’s foot.
2-3 2:44 MD Repeat of sleeping deputy with same green glass ashtray in background & what appears to be a wooden bowl ashtray in foreground.
4-5 3:00 MD Repeat of deputy with same two ashtrays visible.
6-7 3:07 MD Repeat of deputy with same two ashtrays visible.
8-9 3:18 MD Repeat of deputy with same two ashtrays visible.
10-11 3:24 MD Repeat of deputy with same two ashtrays visible.
12-13 3:38 MD Repeat of deputy with same two ashtrays visible.
14-15 3:54 MD Repeat of deputy with same two ashtrays visible.
16-17 4:13 MD Repeat of deputy with same two ashtrays visible.
18-19 4:17 MD Repeat of deputy with same two ashtrays visible.
20 4:34 OTS/WS Wide view inside the sheriff’s office, same green glass ashtray is visible way in the background.
21 4:42 OTS/WS Repeat of wide view, same green glass ashtray is visible in background.
* 5:33 ES What appears to be a small green ashtray is visible on the end table.
22 5:37 ES Wide view of room; a decorative ashtray with stand is visible near the fireplace.
23 5:58 OTS Alternate view of room; same decorative ashtray with stand is visible.
24 6:20 OTS Closer view of room; same decorative ashtray with stand.
* 6:24 ES Repeat of what appears to be a small green ashtray on the end table.
25 8:22 Dolly/HH Same decorative ashtray with stand from earlier is clearly visible beside Tom Hanks.
26 8:34 OTS Repeat of Tom Hanks; same decorative ashtray with stand is partially visible.
27 8:48 OTS Repeat of Tom Hanks; same decorative ashtray with stand is half-way visible.
28 9:02 OTS Repeat of Tom Hanks; same decorative ashtray with stand is half-way visible.
29 9:14 OTS Repeat of Tom Hanks; same decorative ashtray with stand is mostly visible.
30 9:28 OTS Repeat of Tom Hanks; same decorative ashtray with stand is mostly visible.
31 9:34 MD Closer view of Tom Hanks; same decorative ashtray with stand is partially visible.
32 9:40 MD Repeat of Tom Hanks; same decorative ashtray with stand is partially visible.
33 9:55 MD Repeat of Tom Hanks; same decorative ashtray with stand is partially visible.
34 10:11 MD Repeat of Tom Hanks; same decorative ashtray with stand is partially visible.
35 18:31 ES The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – entering the room.
36 18:33 OTS/2S The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – alternate angle.
37 18:35 ES The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – repeat of view from earlier.
38 18:38 OTS/CU The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – a gun is being pointed in his face.
39 18:41 OTS/CU The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – repeat of gun closeup.
40 18:44 OTS/MD The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – alternate angle.
41 18:47 OTS/MD The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – repeat of alternate angle.
42 18:49 OTS/CU The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – repeat of earlier gun closeup.
43 18:51 OTS/CU The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – repeat of gun closeup.
44 18:53 OTS/MD The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – repeat of alternate view.
45 18:58 ECU The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – very close view of his face.
46 19:02 ECU The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – repeat of closeup face.
47 19:11 ECU The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – repeat of closeup face.
48 19:12 HA The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – smashing a guy’s head into the donut counter.
49 23:24   The old woman’s dialog: “There’s no smoking in this house!”
50 23:24 ES The General takes the cigarette from his mouth and tosses it away.
* 23:30 CU A JVC brand boom box is seen.
51 23:33 CU The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – another closeup view.
The old woman’s no smoking in the house rule lasted only 9 seconds because The General is now smoking in the basement.
52 23:51 MD The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – a short zoom in.
53 24:02 ES The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – walks over to the group table.
* 24:04 ECU A closeup of the JVC brand boom box seen earlier.
54 24:14 WS The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – repeat of group.
55 24:33 CU The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – nice bust view.
56 25:43 WS Smoke can be seen rising from The General’s implied cigarette – repeat of group.
57 26:10 WS The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – repeat of group.
58 26:21 ES The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – alternate view of group.
59 26:40 CU The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – facing the camera as Tom Hanks stands close behind.
60 27:10 CU The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – repeat of bust view.
61 27:28 CU The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – repeat of bust view.
62 27:47 WS The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – repeat of group.
63 28:04 WS The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – repeat of group.
64 28:18 OTS/WS The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – visible over Tom Hanks’ shoulder.
65 28:28 ES The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – camera pans toward the group.
66 29:03 MD The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – carrying a trash bag.
67 29:30 ES The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – seen briefly as Lump looks over the bridge.
68 29:35 ES The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – seen briefly in repeat of Lump at the bridge.
69 29:50 ES The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – leaning into the group car.
70 30:01 MD The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – exits the tunnel and begins to undress.
71 30:13 ES The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – assisting the others in the tunnel.
72 30:19 HH/Whip pans The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – quickly evacuatiing the tunnel.
73 30:31 MD The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – stepping into frame with his instrument.
74 30:35 MD The General quickly retracts his lit cigarette back into his mouth with his tongue.
75 30:41 WS/HA The General with an implied cigarette inside his mouth – seen with the group.
76 30:47 Crane The General with an implied cigarette inside his mouth – seen with the group.
* 30:57 MD The old woman comes down the steps carrying what looks like an unlit cigar but it turns out later to be a wooden flute.
77 31:00 2S The General with an implied cigarette inside his mouth – closer view this time.
78 31:05 2S The General with an implied cigarette inside his mouth – repeat of closer view.
79 31:12 HH/WS The General with an implied cigarette inside his mouth – repeat of group.
80 31:44 2S The General with an implied cigarette inside his mouth – repeat of closer view.
81 31:47 MD The General with an implied cigarette inside his mouth – solo in a nice bust view.
82 31:54   The old woman asks Tom Hanks directly: “You been smoking?!”
83 31:57 MD The General with an implied cigarette inside his mouth – repeat of bust view & shown immediately after previous dialog.
84 32:02 WS/HA The General with an implied cigarette inside his mouth – seen with the group.
85 32:06 MD The General finally tongues out the lit cigarette from inside his mouth back to his lips.
86 33:10 ES/HA Same decorative ashtray with stand from earlier is visible beside Tom Hanks & same little green glass dish.
87 33:19 ES/HA Same decorative ashtray with stand visible beside Tom Hanks.
88 33:58 ES/HA Same decorative ashtray with stand visible beside Tom Hanks.
89-90 35:42 ES The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – sitting with group at the waffle hut. A black plastic ashtray is also briefly visible on the table.
91 36:04 2S The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – sitting beside Tom Hanks talking.
92 36:17 MD Smoke blows in front of Marlon Wayons from The General’s implied direction offscreen.
93 36:19 2S The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – repeat sitting beside Tom Hanks.
94 36:23 MD Smoke blows in front of Marlon Wayons from The General’s implied direction offscreen.
95 36:30 CU The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – in a nice whip pan to closeup.
96 36:32 WS The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – repeat of wider shot of group at waffle hut.
97 37:38 MD Smoke blows in front of Marlon Wayons from The General’s implied direction offscreen.
98-99 38:07 WS The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – repeat of group at diner & same black plastic ashtray on table.
100-101 38:15 WS The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – repeat of group at diner & same black plastic ashtray on table.
102-103 38:25 WS The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – repeat of group at diner & same black plastic ashtray on table.
104 41:04 ES Same decorative ashtray with stand from earlier is clearly visible beside Tom Hanks.
105 43:17 WS Same decorative ashtray with stand & possible green glass dish are visible.
106 43:22 WS Same decorative ashtray with stand & possible green glass dish are visible.
107 46:05 ES The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – as the group works in the cellar.
108 46:26 WS The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – repeat of group in cellar.
109 47:45 WS The General with an implied cigarette inside his mouth – repeat of earlier gag.
110 48:02 WS The General with an implied cigarette inside his mouth – repeat of group.
111 48:26 WS The General with an implied cigarette inside his mouth – repeat of group.
112 48:39 WS The General with an implied cigarette inside his mouth – repeat of group.
The gag is not revealed this time however The General has a cigarette again in the very next shot/scene so you can do the math on that one.
113 49:10 ES The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – alternate view of group in cellar.
114 49:54 WS The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – repeat of group.
115 50:15 WS The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – repeat of group.
116 51:28 3S The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – smacks Lump around.
117 52:26 MD/LA The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – gesturing toward the camera.
118 52:34 MD/LA The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – running after the cat.
119 53:30 ES The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – view of group in cellar.
120 53:52 WS The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – repeat of group.
121 54:28 MD The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – solo in a nice bust view.
122 55:12 WS The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – repeat of group.
123 55:14 MD The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – repeat of bust view.
124 55:16 WS The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – repeat of group.
* 56:34 ES A Burger King drink cup & french fry container are visible.
125 57:47 ES The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – opening the security door.
126 57:50 WS The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – closing the security door.
127 58:01 WS The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – pouring cash into a bag.
128 58:08 OTS The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – alternate closer view.
129 58:13 OTS The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – facing forward this time.
130 58:15 OTS The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – repeat of alternate view.
131 58:19 OTS The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – repeat of alternate view.
132 58:21 WS The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – repeat of wider view.
133 58:26 WS The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – repeat of wider view.
134 58:33 WS The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – repeat of wider view.
135 60:04 Dolly/TS The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – crawls through the tunnel.
136 60:30 ES The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – Tom Hanks says a toast for the group in the cellar.
137 60:42 OTS Smoke rolls into frame from the The General’s implied direction offscreen.
138 60:53 OTS Smoke rolls into frame from the The General’s implied direction offscreen.
139 61:41 HA The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – group raises their glasses for the toast.
140 61:47 4S The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – group laughing after their toast.
141 62:04 Dolly The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – camera moves into the tunnel.
142 62:12 4S/Dolly The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – alternate view of group from tunnel.
143 62:24 4S/Dolly The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – repeat of view from tunnel.
144 62:35 4S The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – repeat of view from tunnel.
* 64:06 ES More Burger King products & Pepperidge Farm Goldfish crackers are visible.
Somewhere in here the decorative ashtray appears to be filled with candy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
145 64:40 HA The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – group reaches for falling paper money.
146 64:46 HA The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – repeat of group in cellar.
147 65:13 MD The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – closer view of his frozen pose.
148 65:14 CU Old woman dialog: “I told you I don’t want any smoking in this house!”
149 65:36 ES The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – group cleans up mess in cellar.
150 65:47 WS The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – repeat of group in cellar.
151 65:54 MD The General quickly retracts his lit cigarette back into his mouth with his tongue.
152 66:01 WS The General with an implied cigarette inside his mouth – repeat of group in cellar.
153 66:09 WS The General with an implied cigarette inside his mouth – repeat of group in cellar.
154 66:18 MD The General with an implied cigarette inside his mouth – closer bust view again.
155 66:23 MD The General tongues out the lit cigarette from inside his mouth back to his lips.
156 67:22 ES Same decorative ashtray with stand is visible next to Tom Hanks.
157 67:30 ES Same decorative ashtray with stand is visible next to Tom Hanks.
158 67:35 ES Same decorative ashtray with stand is visible next to Tom Hanks.
159 68:26 WS Same decorative ashtray with stand is partially visible.
160 68:30 WS Same decorative ashtray with stand is partially visible.
161 69:30   Tom Hanks dialog: “…The General here violated the cardinal rule of this house and lit himself a cigarette…”
162 71:05 ES/OTS Same decorative ashtray with stand is clearly visible as Tom Hanks sits.
163 71:12 OTS Same decorative ashtray is partially visible beside Tom Hanks.
164 71:23 OTS Same decorative ashtray is partially visible beside Tom Hanks.
165 71:31 OTS Same decorative ashtray is partially visible beside Tom Hanks.
166 71:47 OTS Same decorative ashtray is partially visible beside Tom Hanks.
167 72:01 OTS Same decorative ashtray is half-way visible beside Tom Hanks.
168 72:18 OTS Same decorative ashtray is half-way visible beside Tom Hanks.
169 72:26 OTS Same decorative ashtray is clearly visible beside Tom Hanks.
170 72:41 OTS Same decorative ashtray is clearly visible beside Tom Hanks.
171 72:57 OTS Same decorative ashtray is partially visible beside Tom Hanks.
172 73:04 OTS Same decorative ashtray is partially visible beside Tom Hanks.
173 73:20 OTS Same decorative ashtray is partially visible beside Tom Hanks.
174 73:26 OTS Same decorative ashtray is partially visible beside Tom Hanks.
175 73:47 OTS Same decorative ashtray is half-way visible beside Tom Hanks.
176 75:22 MD The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – sitting in the cellar.
177 75:38 ES The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – wide view of group scheming in cellar.
178 76:11 MD The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – repeat of sitting alone.
179 76:13 OTS The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – reversal toward Tom Hanks.
180 76:16 OTS The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – removes it to speak some wisdom.
For the first time ever, The General takes the cigarette out of his mouth to give some sage advice: “Must float like a leaf on the river of life,” he says, “…and kill old lady!”
181 76:24 OTS The General returns the lit cigarette to his mouth.
182 76:25 OTS The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – “And kill old lady,” he grunts.
183 76:29 OTS The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – reversal toward Tom Hanks.
184 76:40 OTS The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – sitting and listening.
185 76:42 OTS The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – reversal toward Tom Hanks.
186 76:55 OTS/Zoom in The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – reversal toward Tom Hanks.
187 78:19 WS/HA The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – stands with the group in cellar.
188 78:32 MD/DA The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – gets first pick at drawing straws.
189 79:19 4S/Crane The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – stands with the group.
190 79:32 ES/Dolly Same decorative ashtray with stand is visible near the fireplace.
191 79:47 Dolly in Same decorative ashtray with stand is visible near the fireplace.
192 80:56 ES Same decorative ashtray is visible as old woman stands.
193 81:17 4S/HA The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – repeat of group waiting in cellar.
194 81:24 Crane The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – repeat of group waiting in cellar.
195 81:28 4S The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – eye-level shot of group in cellar.
196 81:35 4S The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – “Must shoot,” he grunts.
197 81:45 4S The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – repeat of group in cellar.
198 81:54 4S The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – repeat of group in cellar.
199 82:07 4S The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – repeat of group in cellar.
200 82:16 MD The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – watching a fight.
201 82:35 OTS The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – repeat of watching a fight.
202 82:40 OTS The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – repeat of watching a fight.
203 82:47 3S The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – watching with Tom Hanks & character Lump.
204 82:51 3S The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – repeat with Tom Hanks & Lump.
205 83:00 LA/3S The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – walks over with Tom Hanks & Lump.
206 83:17 LA/3S The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – watching with Tom Hanks & Lump.
207 83:20 LA/3S The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – repeat with Tom Hanks & Lump.
208 83:28 LA/3S The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – repeat with Tom Hanks & Lump.
The General gets alot of haloed light in these scenes.
209 83:40 ES The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – sneaking upstairs with group.
210 85:11 LA The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – on the bridge with Lump.
211 85:16 LA The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – repeat on bridge Lump.
* 85:58   Lots of Mother Jones magazines are visible (one with Bush & the CIA on cover)
212 86:02 ES The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – comes down the stairs.
213 86:42 MD The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – face comes into view.
214 86:48 LA The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – on the bridge with Lump.
215 87:00 LA The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – repeat on bridge with Lump.
216 87:07 LA The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – repeat on bridge with Lump.
217 87:13 LA The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – repeat on bridge with Lump.
218 87:32 CU/DA The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – close view while picking straws.
219 87:46 Dolly in The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – opens the door from the basement.
220 88:05 FS/DA The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – climbs the stairs at night.
221 88:20 MD The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – closer view of illuminated face.
223 88:25 MD The General with a lit cigarette in his mouth – repeat of close view as cigarette is retracted inside.
224 88:31 ES The General with an implied cigarette inside his mouth – entering the room.
225 88:36 MD/DA The General with an implied cigarette inside his mouth – much closer view.
226 88:47 MD/DA The General with an implied cigarette inside his mouth – closer view continues.
227 88:51 OTS The General with an implied cigarette inside his mouth – looking over the old woman.
228 88:55 CU The General with an implied cigarette inside his mouth – face getting closer to camera.
229 89:00 ECU The General with an implied cigarette inside his mouth – face getting even closer.
230 89:06 CU The General with an implied cigarette inside his mouth – scared by cuckoo clock and begins choking.
231 94:37 ES A silver ashtray with stand sits between two chairs as old woman enters the police station.
232 94:39 ES Repeat of deputy from earlier shows the same green glass ashtray in background.
233 94:41 ES Repeat of silver ashtray between two chairs.
234 94:43 ES A pipe & ashtray are visible on the sheriff’s desk.
235 94:50 ES Repeat of deputy & same green glass ashtray in background.
236 95:05 ES Repeat of deputy & same green glass ashtray in background.
237 95:11 ES Repeat of deputy & same green glass ashtray in background.
238 95:15 ES Repeat of deputy & same green glass ashtray in background.
239 96:01 ES Repeat of deputy & same green glass ashtray in background.
240 96:29 ES Repeat of deputy & same green glass ashtray in background.

Additional Thoughts…

Definitely one of their silliest films to date, the Coen brothers leave the graceful period films behind for this modern day heist movie, well sort of. The Coens’ version of The Ladykillers (2004) follows a gang of idiots (led by globally infamous actor Tom Hanks) as they rent an old woman’s basement and secretly tunnel into an old-timey riverboat casino’s vault. Needless to say, each gang member receives the Coen brothers’ harsh treatment; mostly death and dismemberment.

A remake of the 1955 film, the Coen brothers version of The Ladykillers keeps a lot of the same themes around. The 1955 film featured a gang of bumbling criminals awkwardly scheming over a major score. The original film also centers around an oblivious old lady (the landlord) who ultimately triumphs in the end. Interestingly, the original picture did contain quite alot of smoking which may have been a possible reason why the Coens found it rather suitable for a modern remake.

The 1955 film starred Alec Guinness & Peter Sellers. The Ladykillers (2004) directed by the Coens obviously featured some big name celebrities as well. With actors like Tom Hanks, J.K. Simmons, and Marlon Wayans, this wacky Coen brothers’ flick was destined to deliver many laughs, but mostly people thought it was kind of stupid and ridiculous.


Tom Hanks: I am at a positive loss for words.

Marlon Wayans: Yeah, you still talking okay though.


In the original film, most of the gang members smoked as they sat around in a room plotting their heist and pretending to play beautiful music. Tobacco appears in The Ladykillers (2004) mainly in the form of cigarettes and ashtrays. Unfortunately in the Coen brothers’ remake, 100% of the cigarettes are depicted by one actor alone, and this actor even has a special skill he could exhibit onscreen..

When the oppressive homeowner lady always came creeping downstairs to check on the misfit gang, The General character would quickly retract his lit cigarette inside his mouth because he wasn’t supposed to smoke in the house. After a few minutes the lady would head back upstairs, The General character would return the cigarette back onto his lips and resume smoking. Holding a lit cigarette inside your mouth for several minutes? Phew!!! That’s a pretty flamboyant use of cigarettes by repeating this shallow gag throughout the film. Are the Coen brothers now resorting to circus tactics merely to bring attention to smoking? On a side note, this little circus gag did not appear in the original film The Ladykillers (1955).

FUN FACT – THE CAT
In The Ladykillers (2004), the house cat “Pickles” who is constantly escaping looks alot like the runaway cat in a later Coen brothers’ film called Inside Llewyn Davis (2013). In the end of this movie however, the cat runs down the road and turns left… Perhaps he is heading to NYC?

Overall, The General (played by actor Tzi Ma) was almost never seen without a cigarette in his mouth during the film… Even during his introduction at the donut shop. Actually, the only time he doesn’t have a cigarette is to give some sage advice: “Must float like a leaf on the river of life…. And kill old lady!” which is also a funny joke in the movie.

Ultimately, the arc of The General character is a funny and integral part of the movie. From the start, the old woman gave constant pleas like “There’s no smoking in this house!” and “I told you there was no smoking in this house!” but The General character just wouldn’t listen. She even asks Tom Hanks directly: “You been smoking?!” But Tom Hanks just brought more attention to tobacco by saying “…The General here violated the cardinal rule of this house and lit himself a cigarette…”

In the end, this funny little gag actually got The General character in a heap of trouble. Once while hiding his lit cigarette inside his mouth, the battle-hardened General got frightened by a cuckoo clock, done swallowed his cigarette suddenly & burned hisself, done drank a glass of water with the old woman’s dentures in it, done choked on the dentures and then done fell down the stairs, done broke his neck and done died. And that was the end of The General character. I guess he shouldn’t have been smoking at all.

Trust me, it was hilarious when I first saw the movie. Now I just see the whole act of inserting cigarettes into jokes and ultimately into films seen by millions of people as an act of somehow trying to keep cigarettes relevant in mainstream consciousness and conversation. And also to lure children and young adults into smoking. It’s not a way to keep films timeless or add any kind of texture.


Helen, thy beauty is to me
like those nicean barks of yore
that gently o’er a perfumed sea
the weary wayworn wanderer bore
to his own native shore
on desperate seas long wont to roam
thy hyacinth hair, thy classic face
the naiad airs have brought me home
to the glory that was greece
and the grandeur that was rome