Hail, Caesar!

Hail, Caesar! (2015)

TOBACCO INCIDENTS 653
AVG PER MINUTE 6.66
EDITION Universal Studios Home Entertainment BLU-RAY released June 7, 2016
MOVIE SUMMARY A movie studio fixer does his thing in Hollywood’s golden age.
TOBACCO IN SHORT The fixer (played by actor Josh Brolin) smokes cigarettes and goes around talking to other people who also smoke cigarettes.
POSSIBLE SMOKESCREENS (?) The song & dance numbers, the George Clooney kidnapping thing, the communist party thing.

TOBACCO INCIDENTS:653

AVG PER MINUTE: 6.66

First visual frame at 0:48
Last visual frame at 99:25
Total visual running time: 98:37

# TIME ANGLE DESCRIPTION
Ironically the first thing that appears on the disc is an ad for Tobacco Free California with the message: “Tobacco is still killing 1 in 5 Americans”. Gee, I wonder why?!
1 1:32 MD Josh Brolin in the confession booth dialog: “I lied to Connie, uh to my wife. I promised her I’d quit smoking. She thinks it’s bad for me.”
2 1:36 MD Continued from previous shot; Josh Brolin dialog: “And I’m trying but… I snuck a couple of cigarettes. Maybe three. It’s so hard. But I’m trying.”
3 2:49 ES A large pedistal ashtray is visible behind some liquor bottles.
4 3:25 2S Two police officers come in the front door, one is smoking a cigarette.
5 3:30 2S Repeat of same police officer smoking a cigarette.
6 3:37 2S Repeat of same police officer smoking a cigarette.
7 3:40 OTS Smoke rises from over the police officer’s shoulder.
8 3:44 MD/HH Same police officer smoking a cigarette as Josh Brolin & woman exit.
9 3:53 MD Same police officer smoking a cigarette — he takes a drag at center screen.
10 3:56 MD Josh Brolin dialog: “Say, Brian… Can I bum a cigarette?”
11 5:24 ES What appears to be an ashtray on the table next to Josh Brolin.
12 6:37 MD Josh Brolin takes a drag from a cigarette at center screen.
* 7:03 Dolly Two men deep in the background appear to be smoking cigarettes.
13 7:08 Dolly Continued from previous shot: The man with the manilla envelope is holding a cigarette.
14 7:13 Dolly Continued from previous shot: A man sitting on a bench holds a lit cigarette as Josh Brolin & his secretary walk by.
15 9:35 MD/Dolly An assistant holds out a cigarette case to the western movie star.
16-17 13:22 ES Two large orange glass ashtrays are visible on the conference table in front of Josh Brolin.
18 13:36 WS Same large orange glass ashtray is clearly visible as Josh Brolin stands & walks around.
19-20 14:34 WS Same two large orange glass ashtrays are visible on the conference table.
21-22 14:40 WS Same two large orange glass ashtrays are visible as Josh Brolin returns to the head of the table.
23 14:53 MD Josh Brolin dialog: “I want to know if the theological elements of the story are up to snuff.”
24-25 15:42 WS Same two large orange glass ashtrays are partially visible behind Josh Brolin.
26-35 17:03 Dolly Ten canister ashtrays are visible in the hallway as Josh Brolin & his secretary walk along.
36 17:42 ES A glass ashtray is visible on the table behind the western movie star.
37 20:57 ES A woman in the background behind Scarlett Johansson is holding a cigarette.
38 21:01 ES Same woman in background behind Scarlett Johansson holding a cigarette.
39-41 21:05 ES Scarlett Johansson holds an unlit cigarette & small orange glass ashtray on table. Same woman in background taking a drag.
42-43 21:10 ES Scarlett Johansson holds an unlit cigarette & same woman in background with a cigarette. A Zippo lighter is also seen & heard.
44 21:12 OTS Scarlett Johansson lights up a cigarette with a Zippo lighter.
45-46 21:16 ES Scarlett Johansson holds a lit cigarette & same woman in background with a cigarette.
47 21:21 OTS Scarlett Johansson takes a drag from a cigarette whilst talking to Josh Brolin.
48-49 21:30 ES Scarlett Johansson takes a drag from a cigarette & same woman in background with a cigarette.
50 21:36 OTS Smoke rises over Scarlett Johansson’s shoulder in front of Josh Brolin.
51 21:38 ES Same woman in background behind Scarlett Johansson holding a cigarette.
52 21:40 OTS Smoke rises over Scarlett Johansson’s shoulder in front of Josh Brolin.
53 21:43 ES Same woman in background behind Scarlett Johansson holding a cigarette.
54 21:48 OTS Smoke rises over Scarlett Johansson’s shoulder in front of Josh Brolin.
55 21:50 ES Same woman in background behind Scarlett Johansen holding a cigarette.
56 21:57 ES Same woman in background behind Scarlett Johansen holding a cigarette.
57 22:10 OTS Smoke rises over Scarlett Johansson’s shoulder in front of Josh Brolin.
58 22:17 OTS Smoke rises over Scarlett Johansson’s shoulder in front of Josh Brolin.
59-60 22:20 ES Smoke rises next to Scarlett Johansson & same woman in background holding a cigarette.
61-62 22:25 WS Two men in the background are smoking cigarettes.
63 22:28 WS Same orange glass ashtray is visible on the stool next to Scarlett Johansson.
64 23:09 ES A woman in an orange dress sits holding an unlit cigarette in a holder.
65-68 23:22 ES A man in a tuxedo & same woman in orange dress are holding unlit cigarettes. Two crystal ashtrays are also visible.
69-73 23:27 ES Repeat of man in tuxedo & same woman in orange dress holding unlit cigarettes. Same two crystal ashtrays are visible.
74-75 23:28 MD A crystral ashtray & silver cigarette case are visible on the table behind a woman.
76-77 23:33 ES Crew man in background with a cigarette & crystal ashtray on the lamp table as Raplh Fiennes walks over.
78-79 23:36 ES Two crystal ashtrays are visible on the lamp tables.
80 23:40 MD/OTS Same woman in orange dress holding a cigarette in the background.
81-84 23:49 ES Same three crystal ashtrays are visible on the lamp tables & same tuxedo man in background holding a cigarette.
85 24:53 MD/OTS Same woman in orange dress sits holding an unlit cigarette in background.
86 25:10 MD/OTS Same woman in orange dress sits holding an unlit cigarette in background.
87 25:14 MD/OTS Same woman in orange dress sits holding an unlit cigarette in background.
88-89 25:50 Dolly Same crystal ashtray on the lamp table & same tuxedo man in background with a cigarette.
90-92 25:53 WS Two crystal ashtrays on the lamp tables & same tuxedo man in background with a cigarette.
93-94 25:55 2S Same crystal ashtray on the lamp table & same tuxedo man in background with a cigarette.
95 26:14 WS Same crew man with a cigarette.
96 26:19 WS Same crew man with a cigarette.
97 27:04 MD Same crystal ashtray on the table as Ralph Fiennes leans over.
98 27:45 WS Same tuxedo man in background smoking a cigarette.
99-100 27:49 2S Same crystal ashtray on the table & same tuxedo man in background smoking a cigarette.
101-102 28:10 WS Same crew man with a cigarette & crystal ashtray on background lamp table.
103-104 28:19 WS Same crew man with a cigarette & crystal ashtray on background lamp table.
105-107 28:24 BE Two crystal ashtrays on the lamp tables & same tuxedo man in background with a cigarette.
108-109 28:26 2S Same crystal ashtray on the lamp table & same tuxedo man in background with a cigarette.
110 29:54 2S Same crystal ashtray on the lamp table.
111 21:42 ES A pedistal ashtray is partially visible as Ralph Fiennes enters the office.
112-114 33:16 ES/Dolly A man smoking a cigarette & three glass ashtrays are visible on the bar.
115-116 33:25 ES A pack of cigarettes is clearly visible & smoke rising from an implied cigarette.
117 33:34 OTS Smoke rises in front of Josh Brolin from the man’s implied cigarette.
118-120 33:38 MD Smoke rises in front of man & dialog: “Go ahead” as he offers the pack of cigarettes to Josh Brolin.
121-124 33:42 2S Same man holding a lit cigarette, glass ashtray on table, cigarette pack being offered, Josh Brolin dialog: “I’m trying to quit.”
125-127 33:56 OTS Same man holding a lit cigarette, same glass ashtray & pack of cigarettes on table.
128-130 34:08 OTS Same man holding a lit cigarette, same glass ashtray & pack of cigarettes on table.
131 34:13 OTS Smoke rises in front of Josh Brolin from man’s implied cigarette.
132-134 34:18 OTS Smoke rises from man’s implied cigarette, same glass ashtray & pack of cigarettes on table.
135 34:20 OTS Smoke rises in front of Josh Brolin from man’s implied cigarette.
136-138 34:21 OTS Smoke rises from man’s implied cigarette, same glass ashtray & pack of cigarettes on table.
139 34:26 MD Smoke rises in front of Josh Brolin from man’s implied cigarette.
140 34:32 MD Smoke rises in front of man from his implied cigarette.
141 34:35 MD Smoke rises in front of Josh Brolin from man’s implied cigarette.
142-144 34:39 OTS Same man holding a lit cigarette, same glass ashtray & pack of cigarettes on table.
145 34:45 OTS Same man’s lit cigarette moves into frame for a split second.
146 34:49 OTS Same man takes a drag from a cigarette.
147-149 34:56 OTS Same man holding a lit cigarette, same glass ashtray & pack of cigarettes on table.
150 35:02 MD Same man holds his lit cigarette at center screen next to a photo of a hydrogen bomb mushroom cloud.
151 35:07 MD Smoke rises from man’s implied cigarette as Josh Brolin looks at the photo.
152 35:12 MD Repeat of man holding his lit cigarette next to a mushroom cloud photo.
153 35:15 OTS Smoke rises from man’s implied cigarette as Josh Brolin gets a telephone call.
154 35:18 OTS Same man with lit cigarette in his mouth.
155 35:21 MD Smoke rises from man’s implied cigarette as Josh Brolin talks on the phone.
156-157 35:26 OTS Same glass ashtray & pack of cigarettes are partially visible on table.
158 35:28 MD Smoke rises in front of Josh Brolin from man’s implied cigarette.
159 35:34 OTS Same glass ashtray is partially visible on table.
160-168 37:15 ES Four men holding cigarettes, man holding a pipe, man holding a pack of cigarettes, smoke rising from cigarette offscreen, pack of cigarettes & ashtray on coffee table.
169-177 37:22 ES Repeat of four men holding cigarettes, man holding a pipe, man holding a pack of cigarettes, smoke rising from cigarette offscreen, pack of cigarettes & ashtray on coffee table.
178-183 37:27 WS/OTS Two men holding cigarettes, smoke rising from an implied cigarette, man places pack on table, same ashtray & pack of cigarettes on coffee table.
184-192 37:35 ES Six men holding cigarettes, man smoking a pipe, same ashtray & pack of cigarettes on coffee table.
193-194 37:44 MD Two men holding lit cigarettes as George Clooney sits down.
195-196 37:46 2S Two men holding lit cigarettes.
197-198 37:48 MD Same two men holding lit cigarettes beside seated George Clooney.
199-201 37:51 OTS Three men holding lit cigarettes.
202-204 37:57 OTS Two men holding cigarettes & smoke rising from man’s implied cigarette.
205-207 38:09 OTS Same two men holding cigarettes (one at the dead center of screen) & smoke rising from man’s implied cigarette.
208-209 38:13 2S Two columns of smoke rising from implied cigarettes.
210-211 38:17 2S Same two columns of smoke rising from implied cigarettes.
212-214 38:24 OTS Same two men holding cigarettes & smoke rising from man’s implied cigarette.
215-217 38:30 MD Man holding a lit cigarette exhales smoke at center screen, man holding a pipe, a pedistal ashtray is visible.
218-220 38:37 OTS Same three men holding lit cigarettes.
221-222 38:39 OTS Smoke rising from an implied cigarette & same pedistal ashtray is visible.
223-226 38:44 MD Two columns of smoke rising from implied cigarettes, man holding a pipe, same pedistal ashtray.
227-229 38:46 OTS Same three men holding lit cigarettes.
230-231 38:50 2S Smoke rising from an implied cigarette & another man about to take a drag from a cigarette.
232-234 38:53 OTS Two men holding lit cigarettes & another man taking a drag from a cigarette.
235-240 39:02 WS/OTS Three men holding lit cigarettes, same two packs of cigarettes & ashtray on coffee table.
241-242 39:12 OTS Man with lit cigarette in his mouth & another man about to light a cigarette.
243-244 39:16 OTS Two men taking drags from cigarettes.
245-246 39:22 2S Same two men with cigarettes.
247-248 39:29 3S Same two men with cigarettes.
249-251 39:36 2S Same two men with cigarettes & a small silver ashtray is now visible on the side table.
252-253 39:40 MD Man holding a pipe clears his throat & same pedistal ashtray is visible.
254-256 39:41 3S Same two men with cigarettes & same small silver ashtray on side table.
257-258 39:42 MD Same man holding a pipe & same pedistal ashtray.
259-260 39:45 MD/Dolly in Same man holding a pipe & same pedistal ashtray.
261 40:02 Dolly in Same man holding a pipe.
262-265 40:10 3S Same two men with cigarettes; one ashes into a new ashtray on lamp table & same small silver ashtray on side table.
266-268 40:16 3S Same two men with cigarettes & same small silver ashtray on side table.
269-271 40:22 2S Same two men with cigarettes & same small silver ashtray on side table.
272-274 40:25 3S Same two men with cigarettes & same small silver ashtray on side table.
275-277 40:33 2S Same two men with cigarettes & same small silver ashtray on side table.
278 40:41 MD Same man holding a pipe.
279 40:50 MD Same man holding a pipe.
280-282 40:58 OTS Same man holding a pipe, man holding a cigarette & same pack of cigarettes on coffee table.
283-284 41:00 3S Same two men with cigarettes.
285-287 41:05 2S Same two men with cigarettes & same small silver ashtray on side table.
288-291 41:07 3S Same man holding a cigarette, same silver ashtray on side table, pack of cigarettes & same ashtray on lamp table.
292-295 41:13 OTS Same man holding a cigarette, same silver ashtray on side table, same pack of cigarettes & same ashtray on lamp table.
296-299 41:18 3S Same man holding a cigarette, same silver ashtray on side table, same pack of cigarettes & same ashtray on lamp table.
300-303 41:26 3S Same man holding a cigarette, another man about to pull a cigarette from pack, same silver ashtray on side table & same pack of cigarettes on lamp table.
304-307 41:29 MD Two columns of smoke rising from implied cigarettes, same man smoking a pipe, same pedistal ashtray.
308-310 41:38 2S Same two men with cigarettes & same small silver ashtray on side table.
311-314 41:40 MD Man holding a cigarette, same man smoking a pipe, same pedistal ashtray & smoke rising from an implied cigarette.
315-317 41:41 3S Same two men with cigarettes & same small silver ashtray on side table.
318-328 41:49 WS/BE Four men holding cigarettes, man holding pipe, ashtray & pack on lamp table, ashtray & pack on coffee table, ashtray on lamp table, pedistal ashtray.
Over 100 tobacco incidents in a mere five minute scene and somehow it doensn’t even feel bloated… UN-FUCKING-BELIEVABLE!!!!!
329 43:19 HH A silver ashtray is briefly visible on Josh Brolin’s secretary’s desk.
330 47:25 OTS A pedistal ashtray is visible in Josh Brolin’s office.
331 47:35 OTS Same pedistal ashtray visible in Josh Brolin’s office.
332 48:40 MD Same pedistal ashtray partially visible in Josh Brolin’s office.
333 48:51 OTS Same pedistal ashtray visible in Josh Brolin’s office.
334 49:40 MD Same pedistal ashtray partially visible in Josh Brolin’s office.
335 49:55 MD Same pedistal ashtray partially visible in Josh Brolin’s office.
336 50:08 MD Same pedistal ashtray partially visible in Josh Brolin’s office.
337 50:25 OTS Same pedistal ashtray visible in Josh Brolin’s office.
338 50:31 MD Same pedistal ashtray visible in Josh Brolin’s office.
339-341 50:50 BE The bartender with cigar & two brass ashtrays are visible on back bar.
342-343 50:58 MD The bartender with cigar & same brass ashtray visible on back bar.
344 51:04 WS The bartender with cigar is visible behind Channing Tatum.
345-346 51:42 HH The bartender with cigar & a brass ashtray on table behind Channing Tatum.
The gold ashtrays that appear throughout this sequence look strangely similar to the orange bowls of peanuts but you can usually tell by comparing the color & bowl shape.
347-348 51:57 HH Continued from previous: Same two brass ashtrays are visible on back bar.
349 52:13 HH Continued from previous: Another brass ashtray is visible momentarily on back bar.
This is an extremely clever reveal after Channing Tatum slaps the guy passed out on the bar who only wakes up to sing his part. The ashtray is only revealed after he raises up his beer to sing.
350-356 52:24 WS Five brass ashtrays are visible on tables & same two ashtrays on back bar.
351 52:58 FS Same brass ashtray is visible on background table.
The ashtrays on the tables have now vanished so the sailors can do their choreographed tap dancing.
352-356 53:04 WS/BE Same three brass ashtrays on back bar, bartender with cigar, same brass ashtray on background table.
357 53:15 FS The bartender with cigar.
358 53:25 MD The bartender with cigar.
359-363 53:28 WS/BE Same three brass ashtrays on back bar, bartender with cigar, same brass ashtray on background table.
364-365 53:32 MD The bartender with cigar & same brass ashtray on back bar.
366-369 53:33 WS/HA Same two brass ashtrays on back bar, bartender with cigar, same brass ashtray on background table.
370-372 53:38 ES/Pan Two brass ashtrays are visible on background tables & bartender with cigar.
373-375 53:44 WS Same two brass ashtrays on back bar & bartender with cigar.
376 53:46 MD The bartender with cigar.
377 53:47 HH Same brass ashtray on back bar as Channing Tatum slides down the main bar.
378-381 53:48 FS Same three brass ashtrays on back bar & bartender with cigar.
382-386 54:19 WS/BE Same three brass ashtrays on back bar & two ashtrays on tables.
387-388 54:22 WS Same brass ashtray on back bar is partially visible & bartender with cigar.
389-392 54:26 MD Same three brass ashtrays on back bar & bartender with cigar.
393-396 54:36 WS Same three brass ashtrays on back bar & bartender with cigar.
397-400 54:38 FS Same three brass ashtrays on back bar & bartender with cigar.
401-406 55:13 Crane Same two brass ashtrays on back bar, bartender with cigar & two brass ashtrays on background tables.
407 55:20 WS Same brass ashtray on background table.
408-413 55:23 WS/HA Same two brass ashtrays on back bar, bartender with cigar holding a tray with a brass ashtray on it & two brass ashtrays on background tables.
414-419 55:30 WS/HA Same three brass ashtrays on back bar, bartender with cigar holding a tray with a brass ashtray on it & brass ashtray on background table.
420-425 55:37 WS/HA Same three brass ashtrays on back bar, bartender with cigar holding a tray with a brass ashtray on it & brass ashtray on background table.
426-427 55:39 MD Closer view of bartender with cigar and a tray with a brass ashtray on it.
428 55:44 FS Same bartender with cigar.
429 55:46 MD Same brass ashtray on background table.
430 55:48 MD Same bartender with cigar.
431-434 55:54 Dolly Same bartender with cigar & same three brass ashtrays on back bar.
435 56:12 WS/Dolly Same bartender with cigar.
436 56:19 2S Same bartender with cigar.
437 56:30 2S A crew member with a cigarette behind Josh Brolin.
437 56:31 OTS Same brass ashtray on back bar.
438 56:35 OTS Same crew member with a cigarette in background.
439 56:44 OTS Same crew member with a cigarette in background.
440 57:02 OTS Same crew member with a cigarette in background.
441-442 57:23 WS The bartender with a cigar & same brass ashtray on background table.
443 57:26 MD The cleaning woman puts a lit cigarette in her mouth so she can put on her gloves.
444-447 57:29 WS/ES Same cleaning woman with cigarette, two men smoking cigarettes & glass ashtray on lamp table.
448-451 57:55 ES Same two men smoking cigarettes & at least two ashtrays are visible.
452 58:08 OTS A green porcelain ashtray is partially visible next to a decorative silver lighter on the coffee table.
* 58:15 OTS An issue of Life magazine & Fortune magazine are partially visible on the coffee table.
453 58:15 OTS Same green porcelain ashtray partially visible on coffee table.
454-455 58:19 OTS Man with a cigarette & same glass ashtray on lamp table.
456 58:22 OTS Same green porcelain ashtray partially visible on coffee table.
457 58:26 MD Closer view of man with a cigarette.
458 58:28 OTS Same green porcelain ashtray partially visible on coffee table.
459 58:31 MD Repeat of man with a cigarette.
460 58:33 OTS Same green porcelain ashtray partially visible on coffee table.
461-465 58:47 2S Two men with cigarettes, two green porcelain ashtrays & a glass case containing dozens of individual cigarettes.
Who on earth would bother to put a decorative box of individual cigarettes such as this in a period movie simply as texture? I can think of a thousand other more eye-catching, more fun things to insert as a throwback to the golden era but the Coens always seem to have their heart set on cigarettes.
466 58:50 OTS Same green porcelain ashtray partially visible on coffee table.
467 59:03 OTS Same green porcelain ashtray partially visible on coffee table.
468 59:09 OTS Same green porcelain ashtray partially visible on coffee table.
469-474 59:50 WS/OTS Same two green porcelain ashtrays & case of cigarettes on coffee table, man smoking, ashtray on lamp table, man with pipe.
475 60:06 MD Same man with pipe sits down.
476 60:12 MD Repeat of man with pipe.
477 60:25 OTS Same green porcelain ashtray partially visible on coffee table.
478 60:37 OTS Same green porcelain ashtray partially visible on coffee table.
479-483 60:57 WS/OTS Same two green porcelain ashtrays & case of cigarettes on coffee table, man smoking & ashtray on lamp table.
484 61:04 OTS Same green porcelain ashtray partially visible on coffee table.
485 61:09 OTS Same green porcelain ashtray partially visible on coffee table.
486-491 61:18 ES Three men with cigarettes & three clear glass ashtrays.
492-495 61:23 ES A man with a cigarette & same three clear glass ashtrays.
496-498 61:28 ES Same man with a cigarette & same two clear glass ashtrays.
499-502 61:36 ES Same man with a cigarette & same three clear glass ashtrays.
503-505 61:40 ES Another man with a cigarette & same two clear glass ashtrays.
506-508 61:47 ES Same man with a cigarette & same two clear glass ashtrays.
Coincidentally or not, a man walks in front of the man smoking and then takes a drink of his coffee… Could the Coens be trying to tell you something?
509-511 61:53 ES Same man with a cigarette & same two clear glass ashtrays.
512 63:15 ES/MD Frances McDormand with a cigarette.
513 63:19 FS Frances McDormand with a cigarette.
514 63:24 OTS A puff of smoke from Frances McDormand’s implied cigarette.
515 63:25 MD Frances McDormand with a cigarette.
516 63:27 MD Frances McDormand with a cigarette.
517 63:29 MD Frances McDormand with a cigarette.
518 63:32 MD Frances McDormand with a cigarette.
519 63:34 CU A lit cigarette & puff of smoke are visible over the film editing machine.
520 63:35 OTS Frances McDormand exhales a puff of smoke.
521 63:36 MD Frances McDormand with a cigarette.
522 63:43 MD Smoke rises beside Josh Brolin as he leans down to view the film footage.
523-524 65:06 FS B&W film footage: crystal ashtray on lamp table & background man with cigarette.
525 65:21 MD Frances McDormand with a cigarette.
526 65:24 CU Frances McDormand with a cigarette.
527 65:27 CU Frances McDormand with a cigarette.
528 65:30 CU Frances McDormand with a cigarette.
529 65:31 MD Frances McDormand with a cigarette.
530 65:32 MD Frances McDormand with a cigarette.
531 65:35 OTS Frances McDormand with a cigarette.
532 65:36 MD Frances McDormand with a cigarette.
533 65:38 MD Frances McDormand takes a drag from a cigarette.
534 65:41 2S Frances McDormand exhales a puff of smoke at Josh Brolin.
535 65:50 MD Smoke rises beside Josh Brolin as he leans down to view the film footage.
536 65:53 FS B&W film footage: same background man with cigarette.
537-539 66:12 Dolly Two ashtrays on the bar & man with cigarette.
540-541 66:14 MD Pack of cigarettes on table & man with cigarette.
542 66:24 MD Smoke rises in front of Josh Brolin from man’s implied cigarette.
543 66:25 OTS Same man with cigarette.
544 66:30 OTS Smoke rises in front of Josh Brolin from man’s implied cigarette.
545 66:35 OTS Same man with cigarette.
546 66:40 OTS Smoke rises in front of Josh Brolin from man’s implied cigarette.
547-548 66:44 2S Same man with cigarette & glass ashtray on table.
549 66:54 OTS Same man with cigarette.
550-551 66:57 OTS Same man with cigarette & dialog: “Cigarette?”
552 67:00 OTS Smoke rises in front of Josh Brolin from man’s implied cigarette.
553 67:01 OTS Same man with cigarette.
554 67:03 OTS Smoke rises in front of Josh Brolin from man’s implied cigarette.
555-557 67:05 MD Same man with cigarette, same pack of cigarettes & glass ashtray on table.
558-560 67:12 MD Same man with cigarette, same pack of cigarettes & glass ashtray on table.
561-562 67:16 MD Same man with cigarette & same pack of cigarettes on table.
563 67:17 MD Smoke rises in front of Josh Brolin from man’s implied cigarette.
564-565 67:18 MD Same man with cigarette & same pack of cigarettes on table.
* 70:18 FS Josh Brolin’s wife is holding a can of Hills Brothers coffee.
566 70:26 MD Josh Brolin’s wife dialog: “How’s it going with the smoking, dear?”
567 70:38 CU Josh Brolin takes a drag from a cigarette whilst driving.
568-572 70:56 MD Two men with cigarettes, two packs & orange glass ashtray on the table.
573 71:03 2S Man about to light his cigarette with a Zippo lighter.
574-575 71:05 CU Pack of cigarettes & green porcelain ashtray on coffee table.
576 71:09 2S Same man decides not to light his cigarette & closes the Zippo lighter.
* 71:21 CU Date of 1951 is clearly visible on the communist id cards.
* 71:26 2S What appears to be a green glass ashtray behind the lamp.
577 71:28 OTS Man with cigarette behind George Clooney.
578 71:37 OTS Same man with cigarette behind George Clooney.
579-581 72:07 ES Three gold cannisters ashtrays in the theater lobby.
582 72:53 MD Man in second row exhales a puff of smoke.
583 73:24 MD Same man in second row with cigarette.
584-585 73:50 WS Same man with cigarette & woman with cigarette.
586-587 74:03 ES Two men with cigarettes walking by as Josh Brolin pulls his car to a stop.
588-589 74:09 ES Man with cigarette walking by & chauffer with cigarette leaning against a car.
590 74:13 ES Same chauffer smoking a cigarette.
591 74:21 FS Man smoking a cigarette as Josh Brolin enters a building.
592-593 74:42 ES Large ashtray & pack of cigarettes with Zippo lighter on top on Jonah Hill’s desk.
594-595 74:53 ES Same ashtray & pack of cigarettes with Zippo lighter on top on Jonah Hill’s desk.
596-597 75:05 ES Same ashtray & pack of cigarettes with Zippo lighter on top on Jonah Hill’s desk.
598-599 75:10 ES Same ashtray & pack of cigarettes with Zippo lighter on top on Jonah Hill’s desk.
600 75:40 ES Same ashtray partially visible on Jonah Hill’s desk.
601 75:49 MD Scarlett Johansson about to light a cigarette with a Zippo lighter.
602 75:52 OTS Scarlett Johansson about to light a cigarette with a Zippo lighter.
603 75:54 MD/OTS Scarlett Johansson lights a cigarette with a Zippo lighter.
604 75:59 OTS Scarlett Johansson holding a lit cigarette.
605 76:01 MD/OTS Scarlett Johansson holding a lit cigarette.
606 76:04 OTS Scarlett Johansson holding a lit cigarette.
607 76:06 MD/OTS Scarlett Johansson holding a lit cigarette.
608 76:10 MD/OTS Scarlett Johansson holding a lit cigarette.
609 77:08 2S A brass ashtray on the table between Josh Brolin & his secretary.
Another expert tactic often used by the Coens: zooming out about one inch without you even noticing… In the previous view from this angle the ashtray was below the frame… Now on the second viewing the shot is framed about one inch wider so the ashtray is now visible.
610 77:19 2S Same brass ashtray on table between Josh Brolin & secretary.
611 77:57 OTS A glass ashtray on the table next to the salt & pepper.
612 78:05 OTS Same glass ashtray on table next to the salt & pepper.
613 78:08 OTS Same glass ashtray on table next to the salt & pepper.
614 78:22 OTS Same glass ashtray on table next to the salt & pepper.
615 78:28 OTS Same glass ashtray on table next to the salt & pepper.
616 78:41 OTS Same glass ashtray on table next to the salt & pepper.
617 79:15 OTS Same glass ashtray on table next to the salt & pepper.
618 79:36 MD A pack of cigarettes on the silver-haired man’s table.
619-620 80:10 WS Silver-haired man with cigarette & cigarette girl in background.
621 80:29 WS Same silver-haired man with cigarette.
622 80:40 WS Man in background with a cigarette.
623 80:43 MD Same glass ashtray on table next to the pepper.
624 80:45 WS Cigarette girl partially visible in background.
625-626 80:47 ES Background woman in white gloves with a cigarette & smoke rising from a man passing by.
627 80:54 MD Same background woman in white gloves with a cigarette.
628 80:57 MD Same background woman in white gloves with a cigarette.
629-631 80:58 ES Two men with cigarettes & same woman in white gloves with cigarette.
632-640 82:59 ES George Clooney with cigarette & ashtray on side table, two ashtrays & two packs of cigarettes on card table, ashtray on backgammon table, glass case of cigarettes on coffee table, ashtray on lamp table.
641-642 83:02 MD Closer view of George Clooney with a cigarette & ashtray on backgammon table in background.
643-644 83:10 MD Repeat of George Clooney with a cigarette & ashtray on backgammon table in background.
645-650 83:18 Dolly/OTS Pack of cigarettes & ashtray on card table, George Clooney smoking cigarette & ashtray on side table, ashtray on backgammon table in background, glass case of loose cigarettes on coffee table.
651 83:25 MD Same ashtray on backgammon table in background.
652 89:07 ES A man smoking a cigarette whilst sitting on a rock.
* 90:00 MD Interesting George Clooney dialog: “…the studio is nothing more than an instrument of capitalism…”
The Coen brothers might actually be telling the truth here, but it comes across like a joke, which is actually the real irony behind the whole operation.
* 93:51   George Clooney passes by two goat & he also has two winged lions with goat-horns on his breast plate.
Perhaps a strange nod to “The Men Who Stare At Goats” which is a known instrument of propaganda & disinformation.
653 96:55 CU/LA Josh Brolin dialog: “I snuck a cigarette. Or two.”
Can Josh Brolin’s confessions be attributed to the Coens brothers’ ongoing moral dilemma of fooling the masses with their cigarette-laden films?
* 105:41   End Credits Tobacco Disclaimer: Universal Pictures has not received any compensation or other consideration or entered into any agreement relating to the appearance of any tobacco products in this picture.
HARDY FUCKING HAR BITCHES! I guess it really was a passion project after all. Yeah right!

Additional Thoughts…

I had already begun writing this expose about the Coen brothers when I finally saw Hail, Caesar! (2015) but I already knew deep in my gut I was going to be exposed to some massive amounts of smoking. I knew it was going to be another wild ride but I had no idea as to the depths the Coens would go to honor tobacco. In many ways, this is the Coen brothers’ most devious and diabolical film to date. Trust me, they have seriously honed in on their craft by this point. The tobacco references are absolutely littered throughout the film and delivered by many celebrities including Josh Brolin, Scarlett Johansson, Frances McDormand, and even, sadly, the George Clooney.

Beyond the hundreds of tobacco incidents, the Coen brothers actually use this film to deliver many embarrassing truths about Hollywood and the studio system. Within the dialog of Hail, Caesar! (2015) you will find many truths, half-truths, and metaphors about life, wealth, communism, religion, and the film industry in general. This film tries to be a gritty reflection of life inside the walls of a large studio during the golden age of Hollywood… You know, but like with tobacco finding its way into every scene.

“The studio is nothing more than an instrument of capitalism!”
Quote from George Clooney’s character in Hail, Caesar! (2015)

Ironically, when you first pop in the Blu-Ray or DVD for Hail Caesar! (2015) an ad for Tobacco Free California plays immediately following the Universal Studios logo with an interesting message: Which moments are you willing to give away since every cigarette shortens your life? Tobacco is still killing 1 in 5 Americans. Gee, I wonder why?! They slap a little warning on the disk yet this million dollar tobacco-ridden masterpiece was actually rated PG-13 so younger viewers are always welcome to watch. The biggest shame is that Hail, Caesar! (2015) portrays so many of our favorite lovable actors as smokers instead of just being themselves.

But don’t take my word for it. Lets take a look at the very first scene in Hail, Caesar! (2015). At nearly one and a half minutes into the film, actor Josh Brolin appears in a confessional booth and confesses his sins to a priest…


JOSH BROLIN: I lied to Connie, uh to my wife.

PRIEST: This is very serious.

JOSH BROLIN: I know. I promised her I’d quit smoking. She thinks it’s bad for me. And I’m trying but… I snuck a couple of cigarettes. Maybe three.

[ sound of distant thunder rumbling ]


Sure enough… The fucking opening scene of the movie. Knock knock and guess who. My old pal and yours… tobacco!

She thinks it’s bad for me. Thinks! Meaning it isn’t really bad for you, right Josh Brolin? Subtle. Very subtle. I guess we are supposed to be impressed because this character is trying to quit smoking. Either way, I guess I can see where the rest of this film is heading. Now when Josh Brolin smokes it will be something he can be ashamed about, so that makes it okay, right?

Watching this opening scene in Hail, Caesar! (2015) I suddenly felt like all of my crazy theories about the Coen brothers & Big Tobacco were carved in marble. I only wished my book could have been released to all fans of the Coen brothers around the world before this particular film. People could have read all of this filthy dirty information and then watching Hail, Caesar! (2015) they would have surely gotten a good chuckle about a whole new kind of understanding behind the film, especially subtle moments like this.

In the second scene of the movie, we hit the ground running when actor Josh Brolin smacks a girl around then talks briefly with two uniformed police officers (one of whom is smoking a cigarette). Basically the second scene ends with Josh Brolin turning backward to look into the camera and asking “Can I bum a cigarette?”

Can you see where this film is heading? As I mentioned, this is only the second scene of the movie and someone is asking “Can I bum a cigarette?” Seriously, no bullshit, Hail, Caesar! (2015) is like a two hour commercial for cigarettes. And a propaganda film for the Hollywood studio system. And communism.

“The picture has worth, and you have worth if you serve the picture!”
Quote from Josh Brolin whilst smacking George Clooney around

Another interesting part… At one point during the film, Josh Brolin actually declines a cigarette onscreen and mentions how he is trying to quit. Back at home, his wife asks “How’s it going with the smoking, dear?” but basically the next shot is Josh Brolin driving in a car whilst smoking a cigarette. Really? I guess he’s not trying too hard to quit.

In another glorious scene, actress Scarlett Johansson appears as a mermaid at the center of a carefully choreographed water ballet which indeed mimics the golden age of Hollywood. The amazing sequence ends when Scarlett Johansson has her mermaid suit yanked off and she quickly lights up a cigarette with her Zippo lighter. For some reason, Scarlett Johansson acts like she can’t breathe until she starts sucking on a cigarette. Trust me, the Coen brothers are playing this tobacco thing from every angle, especially the old adage that cigarettes actually calm you down or reduce stress.

“Would that it were so simple.”

So there’s this beyond-cliche ‘movie within a movie’ thing happening inside the movie Hail, Caesar! (2015). You know, that thing where this movie is actually about filmmakers making movies? Yeah, that tired old shit. The ‘movie within the movie’ in this case also happens to be titled “Hail, Caesar!” but with some additional tagline about Christ. The primary actor inside the ‘movie within the movie’ is actually superstar George Clooney — he plays a Roman who encounters some Jesus-type figure.

During the Coen brothers’ film however, old George Clooney gets kidnapped from the set of “Hail, Caesar!” and ends up talking to all of these disgruntled communist writer guys. While trying to recruit Clooney into their gang, most of these communist guys sit around smoking. Tobacco pipes, cigarettes, cigars… All kinds of them. Heck, even George Clooney ends up smoking a cigarette by the end of the film.

Alarmingly, Hail, Caesar! (2015) marks George Clooney’s fourth collaboration with the infamous Coen brothers, but this is the first time old Georgey boy ever agreed to smoke a cigarette on screen. Poor George!

In one scene of Hail, Caesar! (2015) Josh Brolin pops in on actress Frances McDormand who is editing another ‘movie within a movie’ that the studio is making. Frances McDormand is hard at work during this scene, but that doesn’t stop her character from enjoying a nice juicy cigarette. Whilst threading up a film reel for Josh Brolin’s character to watch, Frances McDormand’s neck scarf gets caught up in the flatbed editing machine and she begins to choke. After Josh Brolin helps her by reversing the playback, a startled Frances McDormand gives the line “Guess I shouldn’t wear scarves” but instead of gasping for air, the first thing she does is take a big drag from her cigarette. Seriously, her character too acts like cigarettes are better than fresh air. By the way, McDormand’s character decided to hold onto to her cigarette rather than save herself — that’s pretty remarkable if you ask me. Considering old Frances is married to Joel Coen in real life, I’m guessing that she knows how the game is played.

In another extravagant musical number starring Channing Tatum, a bunch of sailors sing & dance around a bar at closing time. As the energetic sailors perform their homo-erotic dances all around the “Swingin’ Dinghy” bar, the big surly bartender smokes a cigar. If you look very closely in this scene, not only will you notice the bowls of peanuts on the bar but you can also spot dirty ashtrays scattered around as well. Eventually the fourth wall is broken during these musical numbers which usually brings viewers back to the Josh Brolin narrative. At the surface, these hilarious musical numbers do add some Hollywood glamour to the film but in reality, these scenes only give the Coen brothers more ways to sprinkle in the tobacco products.

Yes the Coen brothers’ most recent film Hail, Caesar! (2015) is just a never-ending slew of celebrity tobacco references mingled with some jokes, some religious shit, some communist shit, a couple of musical numbers, and a bunch of ‘movie within a movie’ shit all rolled around it like a big shit cigar.

In all honesty, there are all sorts of odd characters to love, but most of these guys are always smoking cigarettes for no apparent reason at all. Seriously, it never adds a thing to the character. I mean, the first time you see a random cleaning woman, she is vacuuming. It’s funny. The next time you see her, she is standing around smoking a cigarette for no apparent reason at all. It’s also funny, but what the fuck man? Maybe the Coens aren’t so diabolical after all.

At the very end of Hail, Caesar! (2015) actor Josh Brolin once again visits the same confession booth where he again admits to smoking some cigarettes. Ultimately, the priest absolves Brolin’s character by saying he comes to confession too often and “You’re not that bad.” These two highly religious confessional scenes are like nice calm book-ends to an otherwise hectic movie. Kind of the like that strange cowboy that book-ends the Coens’ earlier film The Big Lebowski (1998).

Honestly, this latest film Hail, Caesar! (2015) has so much Hollywood propaganda (not to mention cigarettes) that it actually kind of hurts your head… So again, maybe the Coen brothers were able to achieve some remarkable goal here — they made smoking seem kind of harmless compared to all this other heavy shit going on within the film.

And what about that nice long tobacco disclaimer that appears during the end credits…

Universal Pictures has not received any compensation or other consideration or entered into any agreement relating to the appearance of any tobacco products in this picture.

No compensation? Oh well, I guess this tobacco thing really was a passion project for the Coen brothers after all. Yeah right! Eat a dick, Joel & Ethan… I’ll see you right back here for “Scarface” or whatever their next feature film is.